As most of you know (hell, the only ones reading this) I am a joke of an artist. I know this, and I could care less. I do not dedicate my life to art, it is a pasttime. I make things pleasing to my eye, if they are innovative or not I could care less. Honestly, I see no reason in me continuing this.

As some of you may noticed, I have not uploaded anything in a long time. This is a result of three things, laziness, lack of inspiration, and lack of satisfaction with anything I make. However, I have been slightly more satisfied with some stuff I am making lately, and some it may be ready to be submitted sometime this weekend, or at the longest, next week,

As for my life, well, the last time I updated you on that was in August, so its been a couple months. School so far this year has sucked in some ways and been awesome in others. Alot of my friends left me behind. Abandonement by your best friends is not something that I want to experience ever again. However, it allowed me to become very introspective and see some of the reasons they left, and made me realize that some of the reasons were valid and needed to be changed. I have had a lifestyle change as of late, basically in bitterness and in sadness. As a result, I spent a large part of the beginning of the year by myself, with no real friends other than girls.

It got better later on, as I connected with a bunch of people in an attempt to fill the void left by my old friends. I had always been friends with the majority of the people in my school, but now I know a whole lot more people deeply. I believe that is a good and bad thing. Good for the fact that if any one of my friends leave me, I now have people to fall back on. Bad in the respect that I guess it makes me quite vulnerable to hurt. Thats a risk I am willing to take.

As for my love life, well, it isn't going anywhere. I have taken a break from girls to concentrate on what is wrong with me and why I keep driving people away. Instead, I have strengthened the friendships with the women I have always been drawn too, and it has made my life one full of joy, instead of one full of sorrow and dissapointment.

Well, thats all I got to say. As I mentioned above, expect some things from me shortly. Ill update this journal next week.

Peace.

Edward Bado

Currently listening to: "Nowhere Again" by the Secret Machines

It has been so long since I have updated with a journal entry (or anything for that matter), so I will give a synopsis of what happened at the end of last spring and all this summer. This probally is going to have a large amount of information on all these girls I have feelings for, so please bear with me.

I turned 16 on June 2, and I got my drivers liscense that day as well. However, I still do not have a car, though my dad lets me borrow his from time to time. A couple days later, I finally work up the nerve to call Kelsey and ask her out on a date. Dinner and a movie thing. So I call her, and Summer (one of her best friends), answers the phone. She starts talking to me, and we talk for 5 minutes or so, and then she gives the phone to Kelsey, but I never got the chance to ask because she keeps talking to Summer and her tennis pro (they were taking a break from playing), and she has to go play again before I can ask. I ended up not seeing her all summer because a few days after that, she went out of town, and then I went out of town, and I saw her for the first time yesterday at orientation at school.

Allison, one of my good friends, I saw alot of during the summer. I saw her basically four days a week and talked to her every night.

Jenny is a different matter. It seems like me and her are falling farther and farther away from each other. It feels so awkward around her now that we know each other so deeply. I have no idea what to do with this one.

I started school today. I killed myself with my schedule, including Chemistry II Honors, Pre-Calculus and Advanced Trigonometry Honors, and the class I am most horrible in, Spanish II. Foreign languages aren't my thing.

Well, thats all. Expect some new artwork and more Journal entries within the next week.

Ill start off with Friday. We didn't have school, but we still had to go because we were doing a community service project. We ended up digging up weeds for Martin Nature Park. Normally I would be mad, but Ryann was there, and we talked a bit, at least more than we have in the past couple months. She really confuses me sometimes. Sometimes she acts all nice and genuinely seems interested in me, other times she totally ignores me and others that are supposed to be her friends.

Anyways, after that, we went to Lake Arcadia and hung out. It was fun, we just kinda sat around and watched people play volleyball. I talked to Ryann a little bit more, but then we had to leave.

Tate gave me a ride after school, and we went to his house and talked with his grandpa for a little bit. We had about two hours to kill until we had to be at Allison's, so we decided to go see The Alamo, We were the only people in the theatre, and gah it was so boring. After that, we went to Allisons. Jenny and Kelsey were there, and all three of them wanted to play Halo. Gah, Kelsey is so hot. Jenny and Allison are too, but Jenny was tired and I usually don't think of Allison in that way. Well, we played Halo and then ate the dinner Allison made for us. Beer pancakes. It was good.

After that we sat around and talked a bit, mostly about how much everybody hated Allison when she was little. Then, suddenly, we decide to get in Kelsey's car and drive around Edmond. We drove to Hafer Park, and fooled around on the playground there for about thirty minutes, it was fun. We then drive to Shakey's for some reason, but none of us want ice cream, so we just get some water. The employees there didn't look very happy about it. We then left to go back to Allison's, and I sat up front with Kelsey, and I definitly felt something going on between us.

Well, the night went on, and me and Tate went back to my house and feel asleep. Saturday morning, we got hungry so we called Vanessa (damn she is so freaking hot. She wore this mini skirt that, wow)., and had her meet us at the club for breakfast. The entire time I couldn't help but stare at her.

So yeah, that was my weekend.

I haven't made a journal entry for awhile, so here we go.

I just submitted "Some there be that shadow's kiss" piece, go take a look at it. First digital piece that isn't a layout in a long time, probally over a month.

I am on spring break this week. I think I may be going to Allison's house today, but we haven't had time to see who else is going. It looks like it will be just me, Allison, Jenny, and Paul. It will probally be fun.

I am paintballing on Wednesday, or so thats what Tyler says. I hope he doesn't cancel this one like he has all the others.

Well, I am going to be going now. I think I wrote all that need to be written.